Broadcasters Refuse To Air Gazza Appeal

Sky News today joined the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Five and the Playboy Channel in refusing to broadcast an emergency appeal for Gazza - the alcoholic former football alcoholic.

“Well, we don’t think giving him more money to piss in the Tyne will help,” said a speaking person. Whilst a spokesperson for the appeal, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “Oh, no way man! How’s I’m gonna play George Clooney at darts now, like? Oh no I think I’ve gone and sh** myself again…. Sheryl!”