Breaking News… Ramos, Carew, Redknapp, Ljungberg

JUANDE RAMOS has lodged a staggering £7.5m claim for compensation in the wake of Tottenham sacking him as their manager. Arsenal are only too happy to pay it.

ASTON VILLA striker John Carew has been criticised for visiting a lap-dancing club hours before a game. A speaking person said, “If he wanted to play with a load of over-paid tits he should have waited until we visit Newcastle.”

HARRY REDKNAPP didn’t need to go to Portsmouth to receive the freedom of the city. He seems to have been free to come and go as he pleases for years now.

FORMER West Ham player Freddie Ljungberg looks set to sign a two-year deal with MLS side Seattle Sounders. An MLS Speaking person said “the prospect of playing with a bunch of butch Yanks made him come.”