Breaking News… Chelsea, Blackburn, Portsmouth, Derby

"We'll get you a medal for your contribution, Phil."

Joke of the week:

Q: What have Chelsea and Ian Beale’s mum got in common?

A: They both got screwed by Phil and Grant.

BLACKBURN boss Sam Allardyce has backed Paul Robinson to become England’s number one once again. Allardyce handed Robinson the compliment on Tuesday but the keeper still dropped it.

TONY ADAMS received a telephone call during the birthday party of his five-year-old son Atticus to inform him he had been sacked. Atticus, a keen Portsmouth fan, said “Thank f*** for that, he was s***.”

NIGEL CLOUGH has ordered his Derby County players to laugh their way to safety in the Championship. “We try and put a smile on their faces in training,” he insisted. In that case, watching Robbie Savage run should get them promoted.