Berbatov Signs For Umbro Rovers, WH Smith United…

Immediately after Dimitar Berbatov signed for Man United by autographing some red cloth that happened to be a Man United shirt, the Spurs striker went on to shock the world by signing for all sorts of notebook and football memorabilia organisations by carelessly continuing to autograph.

A shocked Sun-reader said, “Surely he knows that everything he autographs commits him to a five-year contract with the option to extend it after three years? It’s literally unbelievable. Can I have my five pounds now?”